Marla's Blog Full of B%&@!*S and Rants

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

LOL...Do you recognize this family??

Monday, July 03, 2006

Woman Hatin'

It really annoys me that we Women are so damn hard on each other. Now, when we are friends (and by that, I mean REAL friends, not just friendly) we aren't. We try very hard to be supportive and understanding toward one another, and we take care of each other.

I have had some AMAZING female friends in my time.

but, I've also had some crappy ones. Those generally being of the variety that thought that everything between us was a competition - you know, the ones who date guys that you are interested in simply because they want to prove to themselves that they are "better" than you, and that sort of thing. When of course the reality is that they are NOT better than you, because YOU wouldn't consider doing that to a friend, because your FRIENDS feelings are as equally important as your own.

Yeah, I've had friends like that, too.

but what REALLY gets me is when we hate women that we don't know...just because. Because they're pretty, or whatever. I used to do this myself, but now that I'm in my thirties, and I'm all mature and stuff, I just don't have the time, energy, or desire to feel dislike toward some woman that I don't know for what is truly no good reason whatsoever.

I'm tired of the woman hatin'. It's dumb. Stop it. The only reason women hate on other women is because they have shitty self-esteem and it makes them feel better about themselves to find things wrong with one another. but THAT is what makes it so WRONG.

If you're hatin', go seek professional help, because you're screwed up. Bottom line is, you don't like yourself. and if you don't like yourself, how the hell can you expect other people to like you?

It's dumb to hate other women because when it comes down to it, as a woman, only other women can ever REALLY understand you. It's shocking, I know, but, MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT.

As much as I cherish my male friends, and I do, they will NEVER understand me. While having them in my life fulfills many needs, particularly when it comes to lifting heavy things for little old me, and when it comes to helping me to understand men better - they will never understand things like pedicures, and manicures, and how it feels to be a woman who has had her heart broken by another man.

So instead of trying to shit on each other whenever we can, we need to just try to accept one another and be nice, dammit. Life is hard enough without having to worry about some petty ass bullshit, you know what I mean?

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Ann Coulter is the DEVIL

It's no wonder her new book "Godless: The Church of Liberalism" is being released today, on 6-6-06. She's evil. Even her publisher knows it. Hell, maybe even she knows it.

I saw SatANN on the Today Show this morning doing an interview with Matt Lauer about her evil new book, and as usual, I wanted to reach through the television and punch her directly in the babymaker. She deserves to be punched in the babymaker so hard that she will never breed and release the spawn of SatANN on society.

Anyway, Ann made mention of how liberals whine about the deaths of 2,000 plus soldiers in Iraq (who are, apparently, according to her at least, fighting yet they celebrate the abortion of 2 million babies per year. She also referred to liberal 9/11 widows as "broads" who have millions of dollars and they use their tragedy to push the liberal agenda.

Then, she was rude to Matt. THAT WAS GOING TOO FAR!!!

In all honesty, how could anyone take the opinions of someone that is this deluded seriously?

It makes me want to VOMIT just thinking about it.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Knock, Knock, Knocking on Autozone's Door

So, I went to Autozone today at lunch and had them run a free test on my car's computer to find out why my engine light is on. It's something called a "knock sensor". I didn't (and still really don't) know what a knock sensor is/was, all I know is one costs $143.99 at Autozone and my brother has no clue how to install one. Let's face it, he's better with cars than anyone in the family, but he's not an actual mechanic. And like me, he has the most unhandy man on Earth for a father, so we didn't exactly grow up with someone that could show us the ropes insofar as a car and it's workings are concerned.

Anyway, I emailed my friend Larry (my OTHER car guru) and said "What's a knock sensor?" His reply was "It is a device to check your gasoline and engine for octane and detonation problems." While that doesn't really answer my question because I'm car-illiterate, it sounds really important.

I mean, I don't want detonation problems, do I? Detonation is just a scary, scary word. I don't want anything that detonates to have problems, especially if it is something that I'm inside of while it's having said detonation problems.

So now it looks like I'm going to spend assloads of money getting my car's knockers fixed. But, I guess since I do love her, Betsy is worth it. She has been good to me, so I can't hold this one little thing against her. Right? RIGHT?????

I've got my fingers crossed that it's just got a screwy harness or connector (as are mentioned in my fabulous Chilton's Manual), and that the actual knock sensor itself is in perfect working condition, and the people at Joe's Garage will have yet another reason to shake their heads at me for my silliness.

Alas, I am tired. I shan't worry about this anymore until tomorrow.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Service Engine Soon

The last time my "Service Engine Soon" light came on, it was because I hadn't properly screwed my gas cap back on after filling my tank. I found this out, of COURSE, only after going to the dealership and having them tell me about it. That, and to "make sure that I always click the gas cap several times to ensure that it is truly secure so this doesn't happen again".

So, last week I filled up, and apparently did a half-ass job of screwing my gas cap on. I first noticed that my engine light was on as I left work Friday evening. I tested my gas cap, which was on, but not securely, and screwed it back on good and tight and clicked it, surely more times than I really needed to.

Well, it's two days later, and the damn light is still on.

I think it should be off by now. Don't you?

So now I'm paranoid.

I've spent the better part of today troubleshooting my adorable little banged-up car, acting like I know something about cars when I don't, and trying to figure out what I need to do to make the "Service Engine Soon" light go back off. I decided, after much poking and prodding at the interior of my car looking for something called an "Electronic Control Module", or ECM for short, in an attempt to be able to self-diagnose and figure out what the hell is wrong with my car, that I was never going to find the damn thing and that even if I did I wouldn't know what the hell to do with it, that I should get someone that has half a lick of sense to check it for me instead.

I think I'm going to go to Autozone and have them test the darned thing for me. Of course, I plan on scanning over my copy of Chilton's Car Guide one more time so that I sound all knowledgeable about cars and stuff, so that they won't think I'm a complete fucking idiot.

I'll probably leave out the story of my failed attempt at ECM location and self-diagnosis, because I'm pretty sure that if I tell the guys at Autozone about that, they'll laugh about me behind my back when I leave the store.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

People annoy the piss out of me

I try really, really hard to be a non-judgemental person, but boy oh boy, sometimes it's HARD!!!!

I just went to a gas station to make some purchases, and this girl (I think it was a girl, it was actually kinda hard to tell) walked in behind me with a cell phone glued to hear ear running her/his mouth. I noticed her/him mainly because I wasn't sure if it was a her or a him, and had a little inward giggle to myself. I know that sounds awful, but you can't tell me, dear reader, that if you saw "Pat" in public, you wouldn't have a bit of a giggle, too.

Anyway, I got in line to pay for my stuff and he/she stood next to me at the counter and started loudly saying "MAN, I'M BROKE, I NEED SOME MONEY." I have very little empathy, because I'm mean, and so I just tried to ignore him/her. but, the next thing you know, her/him is asking "Do you have some money I can have?" I realized, quite shockingly that him/her was talking to ME! I looked at him/her and said, "Uh, no."

I'm sorry, but how fucking tacky is that? No, I don't have any money you can have. What do I look like, the Bank of Fucking America? You see, I have this thing called a JOB, and I WORK and I make money so I can support MYSELF by paying for my RENT so I have a roof over my head and paying for my GAS so I can drive to WORK and EARN SOME MORE MONEY to pay for more GAS and RENT. and whatever is left over, is MINE! Unless, of course I CHOOSE to spend it on someone else, but that's a whole different ball of wax altogether.

It's not like I don't have empathy, I do. I know that I am blessed, and that some people don't have as much as I do, and I try to help. If I see a guy playing his guitar on the street, and I have a few extra ones to toss his way, I give it to him. but at least HE is doing something to try to earn it, he's not just walking up to and asking a STRANGER who saw him yakking on your damn cell phone for a handout. He's giving you a CHOICE as to whether you want to help him. Quite honestly, the same goes for the guys I see standing at freeway off ramps holding up signs that say "Will work for food". I don't always give them money, just sometimes. and heck, if I'm fresh back from Kroger, sometimes I'll give them a bag of chips or whatever and say "I don't have any cash, but here's some food."

I wanted to tell boy/girl, "You've got a cell phone, why don't you call someone who gives two shits about you and try to bum some money off of them instead of me," like the smartass that I am, but ever since the last time I started spouting off to some moron I crossed paths with in public, I was told I was gonna get my ass shot one of these days, so I'm trying to cut back. Just in case.

Bottom line is, if you can't make your own way in life, get a job. Or another. Or do like I do and dogsit on the side for extra cash so you can buy yourself something nice every once in a while. Or clean houses, or WHATEVER! Just do what it takes! If you're always having to rely on the kindness of others to take care of you, then you're going to be royally FUCKED some day.

Like my Momma always said, "You've got to be able to take care of YOURSELF!"

Sunday, May 28, 2006

It ain't "too hot", baby, it's "kool"!

I love "Kool and the Gang" and I don't give a fuck who knows it. I always have. Their music makes me happy. I love music that makes me happy. I remember being a little girl and listening to "Celebration" and "Ladies Night" and thinking YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH! and to this day, I still get excited when I listen to them.

So, when I found out they were coming to Riverfest, I decided I was going to SO BE THERE!

I got Lesli to go with me, and after the "Train" meet and greet was over, we headed to the VIP tent for a nice view of the stage to await their show. I thought about just sitting in the VIP section for the show, where free beer and food were to be had, but once the music started, I knew I had to get closer to the stage. Close being a relative term, because the seating area was FILLED TO THE BRIM with people. All the way from the stage nearly to the back gate! I believe that is the largest crowd I've ever seen at that particular venue.

The show was AMAZING, to say the least. They are every bit as good as they were 20, 30 years ago, and every bit as able to get a crowd going as any band I've ever seen. They sang all of their favorites such as the aforementioned songs and "Cherish", "Too Hot", a compilation of some "funky" stuff and some "caribbean" stuff that I was unfamiliar with, but greatly enjoyed.

Their performance was truly one of the best I've seen in a long time, and I don't just feel that way because I'm a lifelong fan. It was an awesome show, and I had a wonderful time.

"Kool and the Gang" are still hot, and should come out with a new album, if the crowd they were able to draw last night was any indication of how big of a following they still have.

I've never seen strangers walk up to one another and just start dancing together, to that extent, at least. Everyone there was just there to have a good time, and it showed.

Come on Ride the Train

One of the benefits of working in radio is that I often get to do some pretty cool stuff. All of the weekends spent working events and remotes are worth it when you take into account the benefits.

I've had much worse jobs, that's for certain!

Anyway, every year in Little Rock on Memorial Day weekend, we have an event called Riverfest. and it's just that, a festival that takes place on the Arkansas River...on both the Little Rock and North Little Rock sides of the river, which is actually part of what makes it cool.

There are several stages set up where there are concerts and various types of performances, like acrobatics and that sort of thing.

This year's line up is really good, with performances by such acts as "Live", "Kool and the Gang", "Switchfoot", "The Doobie Brothers", and "Train".

This story is primarily about "Train". I met them. In fact, I DROVE them from the Peabody Hotel to this new club called Rumba Revolution (Which I love, BTW! There's finally a place in Little Rock with GOOD Mojitos! Their food was pretty good, too!)

Anyway, one of the DJ's I work with asked me to help her drive them because they and their manager wouldn't all fit in one station vehicle.

So, I followed her to the hotel and 3 of the band members hopped in the ugly ancient white van that I was driving. The ones that rode with me were the drummer (Scott Underwood, who was rather hot, but I've always had a thing for drummers), the lead guitarist (Jimmy Stafford), and the keyboardist (Brandon Bush). They all seemed like rather nice fellows, with good senses of humor. I won't go into much detail insofar as what they talked about in the van, as they could probably sue me if I did. Needless to say, some of it was rather interesting.

This experience left me thinking about what it would like to be famous, and being thankful that I'm NOT famous. I would like to have the money that comes with fame, but not the "drama". Not the "oooohhhh....look at what so and so did" and not being able to do whatever I want without having to worry about people I don't even know talking about my business. In other words, I'm glad to have a personal life that's, well, private. Being a regular ordinary person has it's perks. and thankfully, as a regular normal person who is camera shy, not feeling compelled to take photographs with strangers every time I turn around.

and these guys really have it better than many of their contemporaries. As impressed as I was about meeting them (and getting my picture taken with them, which I don't have in my possession as of yet, BTW), their personal lives aren't display to the extent that some musicians are. Like Eminem or Jessica Simpson, for example. Everyone on Earth knows THEIR personal business, ya dig?

but it was quite fascinating, and I'm glad for the experience, and I really want to tell you, dear reader, what they said, because that was TRULY fascinating, but, I don't have the money for a lawyer. So you're just gonna have to deal.

I guess that one can be a fan without being a total spazoid. I'm as close to that as I can get, I guess. I mean, I could have driven away with them and kidnapped them, but I didn't. and these are the guys responsible for "Drops of Jupiter", which is, honestly, one of the few CD's that I've listened to the entire way through, REPEATEDLY, so I really am a fan of their work. Their mama's should be